My dream come true

Thanks to a historical posting from Facebook, I was reminded this week of my well-intended-but-left-by-the-wayside blog. Life has indeed been a busy one lately... and any parent of a preschooler would probably agree. ;) Between work and parenting, I'm lucky to have time to keep my house in a reasonable state of cleanliness, let alone find the peace and quiet to write.

But this too shall pass... and I know one of these days I'll be missing the hectic nature of my life as it is now. Those little boy arms will be much bigger, and quite possibly will be off doing his own things instead of hugging on his mommy.

I think that waiting until my late 30s to give birth has given me the time and space to appreciate what I have while I have it, especially since my step-daughters are now all grown up and on their own. I know that I have a limited amount of time with my son and his whole world of cute little boy-ness. I have consciously chosen to let other pursuits fall by the wayside as I experience my son's childhood. And I'm perfectly happy about it.

For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a mother. I was lucky enough to get a head start on that when I met my daughters in my mid-20s. They were 3 and 8 and so wonderful. I will always cherish the time I had with them as children, but as a part-time parent, I missed out on a lot with them. And having seen the natural progression from clinging to mom to breaking away and becoming independent, I know that these years that I have now with my son are precious and will never come again.

My time is finite, and I choose to spend it on the things that matter most. When I look back on these times, I will not have any regrets. I can always write later... I can't always snuggle my little boy close. But that's okay, because I'm living my dream... and more than likely, I will write about it later as I lovingly sort through these memories we're making together now.

A Beautiful Gift of Love

My adopted mama did the sweetest thing yesterday. There's a wall plaque that she bought in 1979, and she said she's been keeping it to give to someone but had never found the right person. When she rediscovered it the other day, she instantly knew it was meant for me. It was so sweet it gave me happy tears:

"God took a rainbow from the sky,
a dogwood from the hill,
A hidden valley, fresh and green,
a golden daffodil,
A meadow sleeping in the sun,
a robin's lilting tune,
The scent of lilacs all around,
a new October moon...

God took the ripple from a stream,
some breezes from the air,
The glistening radiance of a star,
the springtime, sweet and fair,
A bed of roses in the rain,
the cooing of a dove,
And when His masterpiece was done
He smiled and called it... LOVE."

--Unknown Author

May everyone experience the masterpiece of Love in their lives today and always!

Lessons from the Past + Being in the Present = Lovely Future

So I have had some amazing insights, moments and happily unexpected blasts from the past lately. And I'm still processing a lot of it. I've been reminded that you never know what's around the next bend in the road. It could be disaster or it could be heaven. You just need to take things one small step at a time and you never know where you may end up.

For instance, if my first college adviser hadn't given me bad advice on some of my core classes, I might have been in the Diplomatic Corps. Instead, I switched majors, ended up becoming a happy Georgia Peach, and building a wonderful family here.

I have learned so much in my short life, and I know I still have so much more to learn. I've sometimes run, sometimes walked along this path of mine. Occasionally, I turn around and take a few steps back, but mostly, it's just to sight-see and reminisce. I leave the pain back there where it belongs. Instead, I try to savor and treasure the beautiful times I've been granted.

Even though there's been more hardship in my life than I would have liked, whether by someone causing it or through my own dumb mistakes, if I could go back, I wouldn't change one bit of my life's path.

That's because if I did, that butterfly effect might kick in and I might not have the wonderful people who are in my life now. Each and every one of you are bright and beautiful gifts who constantly provide happiness, surprise, love, friendship, support, truth, hugs, smiles and laughter.

I had a spiritual epiphany the other day... Love does indeed make the world go round, but we've got to have a balance in it. Too much love can lead to obsession or blind fanaticism; yet too little love makes for a sad, lonely life.

I know it's not time for next year's resolutions, but I'm going to make one right here, right now: I promise to always try to learn my lessons from my past experiences so that I can be fully here in my present and appreciate all that I have instead of worrying about things I can't control... which leads to a better future, no matter how many turns that path may take.

Love and hugs to everyone!

Happy Day!

I hope everyone has a wonderful and happy day today! If you're not having one yet, take a pause and think for a moment about something you like or love and let that wonderful smile shine through. For me:

May everyone who has pain experience a reprieve,


May all of our soldiers come home safe and sound,

May those who are in need find help or learn to help themselves,

May you find or come closer to your own sense of inner peace, and

May today bring joy, love and happiness to all.

A Tribute to Long Lost Friends...

Thanks to the clever people who created facebook, I've been able to find a lot of people I thought were out of my life forever. I'm grateful to have the chance to revisit those memories, treasure the resulting smiles, rekindle some of those relationships while letting others go where they may. I have to be honest, I was addicted to FB for a while. But that's faded. I do still love checking in, but I'm not on it for hours like I used to be.

However, there are still some people whom I haven't found on FB and they've been on my mind a lot lately. So I thought I'd spend today reminiscing and send the best of wishes to some people I've not seen since high school. And if you, dear reader, happen to be in touch with any of these wonderful people, please pass along my best to them:

Stori Whitted, for one. She was my best friend in 9th grade, and in an odd way, started me on my path to meeting my husband, actually both of them, come to think of it. Sassy, beautiful and way out there. Stori pulled me out of the shell I was in and I like to think that I pulled her back from the brink of outrageousness. After a couple of moves, she drifted out of my life, but I've always hoped for good things and happiness for her.

Nikki Sweigard is another person I wish I could find. She was my best friend the rest of high school: Incredibly smart, pretty, funny and definitely strong in her sense of self and style. We had so much in common, including our determination to succeed. I lost touch with her in college and looking back, I don't think I appreciated her as much as I should have. I've blamed myself for that friendship being lost. I didn't handle a disagreement anywhere close to how I should have, but I also didn't have the maturity then that I do now. Nikki, wherever you are, I'm sorry for not understanding, and I miss your caterpillar stamp to this day. = )

The twins, Ebony and Brian Bookman. Both smart and good-looking, and always with the best of hearts and smiles galore but such fun to watch when one would get the other's goat. Gotta love that sibling rivalry!

Jennifer Todd and Quyen Tran, each other's best friend, and with me and Nikki we turned into the four musketeers... I miss our jokes and laughter, our talks about our trials and tribulations, and especially, our scheming those Evil Elf Christmas plots to get even with Martin Biggers' teasing me. Heck, I even miss Martin, class clown #1. Although I don't miss the jokes about Santa and me. But it led to some wonderful stories, so I don't regret them in the least.

Terry Howie, one of our other class clowns. Incredibly clever and a handsome one, too. I definitely miss him. I don't know how, but somehow, whenever I needed it most, there he was with a laugh or a tease and he was always able to take my mind off whatever I was stressing about. We weren't as good friends as I now I wished we'd been, but I know Howie wouldn't want me to have regrets, only good memories.

Last but definitely not least: Jay Gilmore, a smart and sweet guy who like me was a bit of a late bloomer, but when he did, Wow. He was there for me during some stressful times, and I'll always appreciate that and his ready smile.

You know the saying that some people are in your life for a moment, some for a short time and some for a lifetime? Regardless of which type these friends of mine may be, I hope and wish that wherever you are, your life has been filled with love, happiness, and fulfillment.

And here's a P.S.... I left someone really important off my list... Jeff Carver. even though lots of people thought he might be a bad influence, I never believed them. He was always my protector and he had a lot more in him than most people gave him credit for. I just found him and for all the people who thought he was a bad influence, you were dead wrong. He's a great man who owns his own business and has a beautiful family. Lesson here... Always look below the surface, you'll be amazed at the beautiful spirits you'll find.

Break for multi-tasker = Big Sigh

I'm so used to being the "independent cuss" my Mama always said I was. I'm a fabulous caregiver... but I have to admit, it seems the saying about doctors being the worst patients applies to me as well. After a slightly disastrous episode of scalding soup and tired hands, I've been ordered by my family to take a break today. To not lift my finger even. Okay, I'm allowed to use it on the remote or keyboard. I'm allowed to use my brain all I want, but not one iota of physical labor.

It's driving me batty.

Anyone who knows me knows I don't take orders well--kind requests, yes, but orders tend to stiffen my back into one huge ball of stubbornness... one of the reasons I didn't go into the military, but that's a different tale.

But for today, I'm honestly trying to adhere to this particular demand because I know it's coming from a place of love and concern and is in my best interest. When your hand just doesn't want to hold on to the soup bowl and decides of its own volition to drop it right onto your chest, you've been working too hard... Don't worry, mild first degree burns that are okay today, but please believe me on this one and don't learn from experience as I did. Try and stop before your body makes that decision for you.

But now that I'm here resting, my brain is racing through my permanent mental to-do list and my fingers are just itching to strike a few more things off of it. Couldn't I just go do one load of dishes? Nope, not allowed. sigh

So I guess distraction will be the word of the day. I think I might catch up on a book or two I've been meaning to finish, or perhaps watch a few of my girl shows on the DVR.

Psst... By the way, I just snuck into the kitchen to microwave a pasta dish... I'm such a naughty rule-breaker. Oh well, I'll try to be better the rest of the day. Distraction, that's it Tams... Distraction!

Down with the drama of extremism!

Whether it be the right, left, religion, politics, race, ethnicity, class, etc... Extremist fanaticism has just got to go, and go far, far away from our culture. I don't know why we humans are prone to such extremist natures at times, but when belief in whatever cause you're passionate about keeps you from hearing and understanding actual, factual truth, then the problem is with the believer and not the facts of the situation.

Facts are facts, and regardless of whether one side or another has just tossed those facts in a spin cycle, we should use our possibly god-given gift of reason to sort things through. Fortunately, today I don't feel alone in my struggle against extremist viewpoints. My friend George said something this morning that was the catalyst for today's post:

"Nothing in our country is any different than it was a year ago. Saying Obama is a socialist is about as accurate as saying Bush was a nazi. Judge the situation by what happens, or what has happened, not by what you think might happen."

So regardless of what side you think you're on... Shouldn't we all be respectful of each other and remember that our country, our world even, needs us to calmly discuss our differences, learn from each other and find the best way forward on whatever issue happens to confront us these days???

Journalists... do your jobs and report "Just the facts, ma'am" and please make sure you get all of them and you share all of them. It's not your job to form my opinion. It's your job to present information in a fair and honest way so that I and my fellow citizens of the world can form our own opinions.

And to everyone in our world... Take the time to look at all the facts, not just the ones you like. And ask relevant questions related to those facts... Not the "if yes, you're with us, if no you're against us" kinds. As we've seen from recent history, following a demagogue and listening to just that one side's facts has wasted BILLIONS of US dollars and equipment in Iraq alone. This is not a red or blue statement... It's just a fact.

So based on that fact (Billions of our tax dollars has been misplaced, wasted, lost, etc.), you'd think there'd be a lot more people demanding our government do a better job of keeping up with our resources. Those Billions sure could have come in handy during this latest recession...

So here's me, a proud US citizen, demanding that we do have better accounting of what our money is being spent or lost on.

I also respectfully request that we all start treating each other with respect. Not to beat a dead horse, but a member of Congress calling The President a liar in the middle of a speech to Congress is just plain disrespectful and does not and has not lead to anything but more drama. What I'm referring to is called emotional intelligence, and it's something I hope we'll all practice a little more of.

And please don't misunderstand me... I'm not bashing belief in causes, religious or otherwise...

Personally, I happen to be a firm believer that we should all try to make our world at least a little better than we found it, that common courtesy is the grease to the wheels of society, and that love makes those wheels turn a whole lot better.

But guess what, if you show me facts that disagree with my above-stated beliefs, I'm not going to lose my temper, call you names or raise up a fanatic army of common courtesy and love supporters to bring you down. Instead, I'm going to sit here and consider the information you share with me, do my own research from multiple sources, and if you've got a real point based on all the facts, I'll probably agree with you.

Happy Day to all... A collection of some of my favorite quotes

"Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see!!!" -- Jovanna Alex Sidney

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." --Lao Tzu

“Love is like a piece of art work, even the smallest bit can be so beautiful.” --Stacie Cunningham

"Life is the flower for which love is the honey." --Victor Hugo

"Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young." --Sir Arthur Pinero

"Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear." --John Lennon

"Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important." --Lisa Hoffman

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." --Jimi Hendrix

"Just because you love someone now doesn't mean you're meant to have them in your life forever. So treasure and appreciate the now with your loved ones and in the future, whatever it may hold, you'll have no regrets." --me--

Appreciating What You Have

While I'm not a religious person, I do have a deep sense of spirituality, and it's always seemed to well up in me when I see something beautiful in nature... a sunset, the fall colors, spring flowers. I guess it's because I'm the "independant cuss" my momma always teased me about being. I just don't see the need to have someone else tell me what and how to believe. If I had to really nail down a belief system, I'd have to say that I believe in all kinds of Love... Love of family, friends, nature, country, etc.

I had a spiritual ah hah the other day. Lke many people, I've spent a lot of time worrying and stressing about so many different things: bills, career, home stuff. So much so that I had worn myself out. And I realized that while I believe in Love, I was giving myself very little of it. I'm not talking narcissistic love, but genuine appreciation and care for my self, inside and out.

Appreciate what I have... That's something it's so hard to do sometimes... to let go and simply take joy in what you have in you and around you that is good. For once, I didn't put things off for another day, and I took my own advice.

And as a result, I had the absolute best Christmas vacation I've ever had... not because of a whole lot of presents (something I'd been worrying a lot about)... but because I was able to spend amazing time with my husband, with our daughters, with his parents (who are another mom and dad to me), with my mom, sister and brother-in-law and nephew.

It was so beautiful, and while it was a lot of work, it was more than worth it.

Take time for yourselves and those you care about. Appreciate what you have, and in doing so, you may discover a richness and beauty in your life that you never knew you had.

Love to all,
Tammy