Friday, July 31, 2009

Late night musings

My brain is a whirlwind of ideas. It's a good thing I've got some time to figure out which direction(s) to go in from a professional perspective. I've got a few different passions in addition to some unique ideas that I'm interested in trying. I'm finding that I'm so excited about all the different opportunities, it's hard to focus on any one at a time.

And I've also discovered that it is hard for me to relax and take a vacation with my brain constantly whirling. Don't get me wrong, I have gotten some quiet time, and I feel much less stressed now than I did in June... But I have discovered that it is in my nature to always be planning or thinking about what comes next. I have to balance that habit with also living in the moment and not taking those moments for granted. It's amazing how wonderful things can happen in the most ordinary of situations... like the way my husband looked at me this morning, just one glance and I know I am loved to the moon and beyond.

Or take the grocery store today...

My daughter and I are at the cash register and the cashier looks at me funny when I say she's my daughter. Then I explain she's actually my stepdaughter but while we're not biologically related, our hearts are. The cashier gives us an incredulous look because she thought we really were related. We actually get that fairly often. A lot of times people mistake us for sisters... which does my ego quite a bit of good to be able to pull that one off. Hopefully, one day in the far future, I'll look like an aunt instead of a grandma. = )

It amazes me that I have so much in common with my girls, but in different ways with each daughter. It sometimes feels like they each have a part of my personality, but it's been that way since the first day I met them when they were 3 and 8. My youngest daughter calls herself an animal freak... that's one of my favorite parts that I share with her... that and her moral compass. With my oldest, I think the best way to describe it is her thoughtful compassion. It fills me with pride every time she handles odd or hectic situations in such an adult and responsible manner.

I am proud that I'm helping to raise such amazing young women, and I'm so very grateful to their mother for sharing them with me.

So where am I going with this... Don't get into the habit of taking your loved ones for granted. Appreciate them, be with them, and pay attention to those ordinary but special moments.

Have a beautiful day!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Returning to my personal blog

So I've taken a roller coaster ride in my work life these last six months. I am now laid off, but unexpectedly, happier than I've been in a long time...

With the exception of the intense diversity and inclusion work I had been involved with at my former company, I was completely burnt out on the job that I had. I was really good at it, but it didn't really challenge me. And I discovered that a bored Tams is not a happy Tams, especially from a career perspective.

Speaking of perspectives, I've done a lot of introspection this last month. I didn't plan to spend my vacation laid up with a sprained ankle, but I think perhaps I needed it... the time and space to sit with myself (and have time with my family, both people and pets). I discovered I had to learn how to breathe all over again. My conclusions are that I do not at all feel guilty for being laid off (I tend to more judgmental about myself than others). I do not think I would have been happy staying in the same kind of role for another few years. And I would have missed out on some of the most amazing moments of my motherhood this month.

Instead, I am happy that I've got this cushion in which I can think about new things and explore new challenges, and that I can target them to somehow find a way to earn enough to support the family, yet work at home so I have more time to spend with my family. They are the best de-stressers in the world! I am thankful every day for them.